WORST DAY: November 22, 2002 [Editor’s note: Rybak was interviewed before the I-35W bridge collapse on August 1.]
WHY: It was a normal day until late afternoon, when one of my
policy aides told me that an 11-year-old girl named Tyesha Edwards had been shot
while doing homework at her dining room table. I raced over to Hennepin County
Medical Center where she had been brought and, in the hallways there, met her
parents. Several minutes later, they were told that she had died. We were
immediately brought into a very small room where we joined other members of the
family and a minister. These people were strangers to me and I was to them. And
we were dealing with the most horrible tragedy you could possible think of.
My daughter was Tyesha Edwards’ age. And I imagined, as I tried to think of something to counsel them, how I would feel if Grace had been shot doing exactly what we had asked her to do. I couldn’t even begin to understand the level of grief they would have. But I tried to express that there was a whole city of people who had them in their hearts and prayers.
AFTERMATH: It forced me to think much more deeply about the
causes behind a death like that, and about youth violence here and in other
cities. It’s clear there are too many kids raising themselves, too many kids
having kids of their own, too many kids with access to guns. All of that makes
it much more difficult for good kids like Tyesha with good parents who were
doing everything right.
Since then, we’ve done a lot to deal with trying to turn things around with a whole series of initiatives on disconnected youth and public safety strategies focused on attacking gangs and guns. It’s important policy work, but I have to say that just below the surface for me is always the memory of that horrible day and how much I’d love to do anything possible to keep there from being another child and family in the situation that I found that day.
LESSON LEARNED: I remember going to sleep that night and just laying in bed hour after
hour trying to figure out what I could possibly say. Over the next few days, it
became clear to me that sometimes there aren’t perfect words to say, and the
important thing to do is to just be there.
It was a tremendously tragic event. But out of that I did develop a great friendship with Tyesha’s family. There have been times since then when they have been able to lean on me and I’ve been able to lean on them. I’ve learned out of that that people who you come together with in times of great crisis are often people you can turn to when something happens later.
