Keeping the X(-Car) in Xmas

You, gentlemen, present the spectacle of people who cannot build cars profitably in the most car-frenzied country in the world. Now, you’re discussing automobile plans with people in Congress who have never built a car in their collective lives. The difficulty with building cars by political design is that the resulting vehicle is likely to be ugly, underpowered, inefficient, but built in politically sensitive locations. In fact, that’s the history of government-built cars. The East German Trabant comes to mind.

Clearly, the industry must restructure. Detroit’s approach—spreading 177 models over 16 brands, and selling them through too many dealers—must change. Bonuses and large salaries for managers that have driven these companies off a cliff should cease.

As an old teenager who once loved your cars (and since I’m being asked to pay for this rescue plan), let me make a single suggestion: Put the engineers back in charge of your vehicles. Let American ingenuity run wild. In the land of Edison, it’s absurd that the only electric hybrid vehicle an American could buy for the last 10 years was made in Japan.

The government is going to give you your money and it will thus have to appoint a car czar. If we must have a car czar, let’s appoint Ric Ocasek, formerly of the Cars. Dinah Shore would approve.

Sincerely Yours,

Vance K. Opperman

(Whose first car was a Chevy)