Exceptions May Apply*

The “my customers are too dumb to figure it out” advertisers aren’t limited to radio. No siree. I just receive a giant coupon from a big home furnishings store that my wife and I frequently patronize. In type literally four inches high, it says,

“20 percent off any single item in the store*”

Oh, but there’s that teeny little asterisk at the end. When you turn the card over and find the dinky type at the very bottom of the page, it says:

“Not valid for purchase of gift cards, All-Clad, Alessi, Baby Jogger, Baby Planet, BOB, Bugaboo USA, Bumbleride, Capresso, DKNY, ERGObaby, iJoy, Kate Spade, Kosta Boda, Lenox, Maclaren, Margaritaville, Maxi-Cosi, Miele, Monique Lhuillier, Mountain Buggy, Mutsy, Nambé, Nautica, Orbit Baby, Oreck, Orrefors, Pediped, Peg Perego, Phil & Ted’s, NettoCollection, CUB by Netto, Quinny, Richard Ginori, Riedel, Robeez, Stokke, Svan, Tempur-Pedic, Tommy Bahama, UPPABaby, Vera Wang, Versace, Waterford, Wedgwood, or Wüsthof products. Valid for 5 percent off Natart or Ragazzi products and 10 percent off Britax or Stanley products.”

Another notice on the same card reads, “If you find a lower price at any of our competitors, we will meet that price. Exceptions may apply.”

I know times are tough, but it sure doesn’t say much for the integrity of the business when it promises the world in type you can read from across the room, then lists close to 50 exceptions in type that almost requires a magnifying glass. These kinds of games insult the customer and diminish the advertiser.

Some of you reading this may be thinking, “Come on, lighten up! These are minor infractions.” Well, that’s true. But it seems we’re increasingly drowning in minor infractions, from going through red lights to cheating on taxes to who knows what. I guess I’m just old, but I don’t think it used to be this way, and it saddens me.