Bread and Butter Charges

I usually meet my friend Barry for lunch on Saturdays. We always go to the Crossroads Deli in Minnetonka, partly because it’s sort of equidistant from our homes, and partly because they have great food and great service and a huge menu with big type.

Last week, I got there a little early, and as I sat down at our table, our server, Nancy—smiling, friendly, and moving at the speed of light—rushed over with ice water, a dish of pickled beets, dill pickles, brown mustard, yellow mustard, ketchup, and three kinds of sweetener. After Barry got there and we’d ordered, she brought a basket of fresh breads. When Barry finished his Coke, she whisked the glass away and brought another. And as she did that, it suddenly hit me that what I was experiencing—the amenities—was exactly 180 degrees from what’s going on in the airline industry today.

Travel used to be fun, even exciting. But today, it’s mostly stressful, irritating, and definitely not fun. We have no choice, of course, but to accept the security regulations, including shuffling along like cattle, shoeless on the filthy floor, and being challenged because our hair tonic appears to be in a five-ounce rather than a three-ounce bottle. A little metal hook on my suspenders sets off the metal detector (only sometimes and only at certain airports), so the security staff tell me to remove my suspenders. I tell them my pants will fall down if I do, and amazingly, they accept that excuse. Despite these security measures, I have the gnawing feeling some evil person intent on blowing up a plane could figure out how to do it through an airline employee or food service or who knows what.

None of that is the fault of the airlines. In fact, they’re no doubt just as frustrated, partly because it costs them a lot of money and mostly because passengers tend to blame the airlines, guilty or not, for whatever they feel like complaining about.

This is just an awful time to be in the airline business. The depressed economy has cut both leisure and business travel, and at the same time, the astounding price of fuel has devastated airlines’ financial planning and continues to be unpredictable. To make matters worse, many airlines just recently emerged from bankruptcy, during which time they put into effect every sort of cost-cutting measure they could think of.

They must increase revenues, that’s clear. But to me—an industry outsider except in my role as a passenger—their approach to raising revenue is absolutely crazy, resulting in even higher levels of frustration for their customers. It’s time for total collusion in the industry: They need to take a deep breath and then raise fares to a level that will get them through these terrible times. They may lose passengers, but at least they’ll be able to adjust for that.